you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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