he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
