he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
