I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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