how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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