I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
