just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
