I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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