The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize