There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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