Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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