So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
