Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
