"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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