hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
