i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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