Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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