so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i will never coherently bang her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
