You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
