wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
