I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
