Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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