so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Randomize
