i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
