there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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