Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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