next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
