So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
