i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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