did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
