Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
