I bet he comes in French.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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