your thong is hanging out like whoa
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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