i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
