I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
as a side note pls kill me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
