I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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