My room smells like vodka and shame
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
