what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
this will be a night to untag.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
