i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
even my farts smell like vagina
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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