I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
