The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
