i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
