What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
