You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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