This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
