I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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