Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
