i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
