Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
