Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
