I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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