I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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