sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I need a burrito and a hug.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
