you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
