Tell her she can't have a vagina
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize