she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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