i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
