I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
