why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
